Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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