I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
