So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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