i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
