Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
