that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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