Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
