You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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