Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
