we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
