I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
