The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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