tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
