I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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