i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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