Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
