Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You smell like stripper and shame
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
