I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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