Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
