Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
