i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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