We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
