All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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