the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
