how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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