We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
