do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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