question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
