Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
