You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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