Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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