So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
