I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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