my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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