Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize