you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize