Duck Duck Cougar?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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