Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
