We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
