Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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