this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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