You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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