is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
