and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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