Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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