they need to just BURY HIM!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
