I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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