I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
