my mouth tastes like poor choices
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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