Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
