I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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