i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
