I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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