Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
