are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
