what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she told me i tasted like america
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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