So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm just crazy horny about you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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