If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
