I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
