this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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