I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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