You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
